21 February 2007

A Couple Things

I imagine some of you have probably already seen this on Scout's blog. If not, then you need to read it. In this case, apparently, Justice was not only blind; it was profoundly retarded and in need of institutional care.

I Told

So over the last several months I've gotten a number of e-mails and calls and mailings from a US Air Force recruiter trying to get me to enlist as a Public Health officer. My grandfather and two uncles were in the USAF, and my cousin and my brother's ex-wife are currently enlisted, so it would probably be my choice of the armed services if I were to enlist. Except for one little problem.

I was on the Board of the Lesbian & Gay Veterinary Medical Association for 6 years and have been in their group photos in the Journal of the AVMA many, many times. You'd think that the FBI must have a file on me for such seditious activities (Hey, they're monitoring those crazy militant Quakers), or that the military would at least have a blacklist - after all, we're not that large a profession - but apparently not. So to clarify, I sent him the following e-mail:

You keep sending me recruiting materials, and I have a couple questions for you:

1) My partner is self-employed. If I were to enlist, would I be able to add him to my health care coverage?

2) We are planning on getting married in June of 2008. Would it be possible for us to have a military wedding on base, even though the marriage won't be recognized by the US government (We will be going to Canada for the legal marriage part, since they're rather a bit more forward-thinking)?


And just in case he's particularly thick, I attached a photo of David & myself. Had I been less tired, I might have thought of something more pithy to say, but I figured it should at least get the point across. Think he'll keep sending me things?

11 comments:

Carol said...

I love you.

Off to read Scout's blog.

p.s. I hope you were giving David the tongue in the photo you sent. ;)

knitnzu said...

Great letter! I'm sure the fbi DOES have a file on you, but I'm not so sure they all talk with each other.

Sean said...

That is absolutely terrific. I love it.

Norma said...

Oh, that is so farkin' funny. I would love to see the look on his face, and I can imagine the other "f" word that would come out of his mouth.

Scoutj said...

What Norma said.

Thanks for the link too.

FemiKnitMafia said...

That is HILARIOUS! Well done.

Sheepish Annie said...

I was laughing so hard at the second part of your post that I almost cried. The image of the recruiter (not known for their senses of humor) getting that email just hit my funny bone hard!

The first link, though, is disturbing. As an educator, I have had things "pop up" on the computer that were not of my clicking. Recently, a teacher in my school had an adult ad make an appearance to her sixth grade class during a presentation that was up on the big screen. And that made it through one of the toughest filters I've ever had to work with in a school. Teachers are all pretty amazing, but we don't control them internets! Sheesh!

Norskybear said...

The sad reality is that he would probably allow you to enlist so he can satisfy his quota for the month. The fact that you are a homosexual isn't his problem; it will be left to someone else after you are enrolled. I hope you don't follow through for the entertainment value alone. 40 years for internet pop-up ads is nothing compared to what a military tribunal might impose. Besides, I hear the quality of yarn stores in Iraq ain't that great...

Sparkly Spiral Girl said...

hahahahahaha!!! Good on you :) Funny when we can "use" the don't ask don't tell policy against them, 'eh?

Sean said...

So, any response from the Air Force?

Marcy said...

Ask him if, as your recruiter, he'd like to be the father of the bride at the wedding and give you away. :D